It is morning in the capital of Arkansas. I have recently showered in our hotel room. Because of this, I now smell like an item off of a dessert menu.
The shampoo provided by the hotel is a concoction of coconut and lime. If hotel restaurants do not serve ONLY Denver omelettes for breakfast and hotel bars do not pour ONLY vermouth on the rocks, the ONLY shampoo available in a hotel shower should not be tropical in nature.
We are driving to Memphis to see the NBA. We'll talk then.
Your favorite personified Coke twist commercial,
Benetti
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Day 2: Woo Pig Sooey
"They'll monitor your credit..."
With a 5am wake up call and a jingle in heads, we headed south from the big arch to the little rock. Along the way, we came upon a gas station in Southern Missouri called Boomland. Now if you've ever wanted to start a "little somethin" in SoMo, Boomland is the place to do it. Its doors very clearly state a gun-free interior.
This same interior gave us our favorite food display of the trip to date. Hope you didn't leave your insulin in the car.
A pack of donuts in the "diabetic section" contained 26 grams of sugar per donut. Boomland, if you're reading...please, click here...preferably sooner than later.
Soon enough we were in Little Rock. A sign declared the population to be 167, 342. Clearly "Little Rock population sign updater" is the worst job in the land.
Benetti drove to the arena and dropped us off in the lap of a "BBQ Truck." A smoked turkey leg and basket of fried catfish (both delicious) later, we headed inside to catch the two games.
It didn't take long for us to realize that Arkansans don't like their neighbors to the west too much. Everybody who's not rooting for Texas against Miami was adamantly booing the Longhorns. Unfortunately for them, UT had 3 key factors working for them in the game.
1) After Stanford head coach Trent Johnson's first half ejection from Saturday's 2nd round game against Marquette, Texas head coach Rick Barnes was no longer the last coach to be tossed from a tournament game.
2) A.J. Abrams was the only player on either team with an elbow sleeve. His game high 26 points was another example that you play better basketball when your elbow is warm.
3) The Texas Cheerleaders brought their "A' Game. They even changed their outfits at halftime to keep the Longhorn momentum going. Miami failed to follow suit (literally), and it proved disastrous for the 'Canes. See above for 1st Half outfit. See below for Half #2
X) As if the 3 factors weren't enough, the Longhorns had the only acceptable mascot of the remaining four teams. Memphis's tiger spent half the time feigning blindness (we can only guess this ploy relates to the "eye of the tiger"). Mississippi State's Bulldog doesn't fit into his own bulldog shirt...implying that the actual suit has put on weight. And Sebastian the Ibis (?) reminded us of an evil Donald Duck. Must be the pants.
Congratulations Bevo The Steer, your team is in the Sweet 16.
Game #2 featured "Memphis West" cheering on its Tigers, elementary school free-throw shooting, and a flurry of props bets between me and the fan directly behind me. More on this in your chapter of "name our book."
We hit the professional hardwood tomorrow. Huge playoff implications for the 9th place Nuggets in Memphis.
-LBK
With a 5am wake up call and a jingle in heads, we headed south from the big arch to the little rock. Along the way, we came upon a gas station in Southern Missouri called Boomland. Now if you've ever wanted to start a "little somethin" in SoMo, Boomland is the place to do it. Its doors very clearly state a gun-free interior.
This same interior gave us our favorite food display of the trip to date. Hope you didn't leave your insulin in the car.
A pack of donuts in the "diabetic section" contained 26 grams of sugar per donut. Boomland, if you're reading...please, click here...preferably sooner than later.Soon enough we were in Little Rock. A sign declared the population to be 167, 342. Clearly "Little Rock population sign updater" is the worst job in the land.
Benetti drove to the arena and dropped us off in the lap of a "BBQ Truck." A smoked turkey leg and basket of fried catfish (both delicious) later, we headed inside to catch the two games.
It didn't take long for us to realize that Arkansans don't like their neighbors to the west too much. Everybody who's not rooting for Texas against Miami was adamantly booing the Longhorns. Unfortunately for them, UT had 3 key factors working for them in the game.
1) After Stanford head coach Trent Johnson's first half ejection from Saturday's 2nd round game against Marquette, Texas head coach Rick Barnes was no longer the last coach to be tossed from a tournament game.
2) A.J. Abrams was the only player on either team with an elbow sleeve. His game high 26 points was another example that you play better basketball when your elbow is warm.
3) The Texas Cheerleaders brought their "A' Game. They even changed their outfits at halftime to keep the Longhorn momentum going. Miami failed to follow suit (literally), and it proved disastrous for the 'Canes. See above for 1st Half outfit. See below for Half #2
X) As if the 3 factors weren't enough, the Longhorns had the only acceptable mascot of the remaining four teams. Memphis's tiger spent half the time feigning blindness (we can only guess this ploy relates to the "eye of the tiger"). Mississippi State's Bulldog doesn't fit into his own bulldog shirt...implying that the actual suit has put on weight. And Sebastian the Ibis (?) reminded us of an evil Donald Duck. Must be the pants.Congratulations Bevo The Steer, your team is in the Sweet 16.
Game #2 featured "Memphis West" cheering on its Tigers, elementary school free-throw shooting, and a flurry of props bets between me and the fan directly behind me. More on this in your chapter of "name our book."We hit the professional hardwood tomorrow. Huge playoff implications for the 9th place Nuggets in Memphis.
-LBK
Woo, Clinton museum?
Hello from the Legacy Suites on this corner of Little Rock.....
Let's explain something here. Only two people are going to each sporting event that's on our schedule. The other will be dispatched to not do anything sports-related while the others are watching whatever it is they're watching.
I now know by experience that Little Rock on Easter is like that La Quinta Inn you always pass on the way to work: vacant. The only open buildings were fast food restaurants and sports bars. Even the River Market (see also Inner Harbor, Riverwalk and Navy Pier) was closed.
Thus, I assume that the people in need of external sustenance on this holiest of days (debatable) are simply the poor and the sports fan. The Venn diagram for these groups (figure not displayed) will show some overlap.
This got me thinking about welfare reform. And there's no better place to learn about such a thing in Little Rock than at the Clinton Presidential Library. Assign the compliment wherever you'd like.
Oddly shaped building, eh? Here's curator Cindy Reyes
I swoon at the thought of Commanders in Chief, too.
Mr. Clinton had his boxcar--er, museum--built on a former warehouse district that was rather unsavory, evidently. His library has helped invigorate a small thoroughfare named.....President Clinton Avenue. How selfless.
In trying to avoid sports, I failed almost immediately. I told one of the guides, a kindly gray-haired women named Joy, that I live in North Carolina. Her response: "We're playing you today." She is a point guard for the Razorbacks and I am a small forward for the Tar Heels, clearly.
The library had a small exhibit inside of it detailing each American president until 1965 and how he helped or hindered the African-American cause. It was superb but, sadly, not well-attended.
Items you can impress your friends with:
-Bill met Hillary in the Yale law library. She said to him as she approached, "You've been staring at me for this long. We should at least know each others' names." If that doesn't make you tingly......
-Bill was the youngest ex-governor in the history of the United States.
-The bowling ball was invented in 1862.
-North Little Rock wanted the library, but Little Rock was granted the structure. This is a point of frustration for some North Little Rockers.
That is all. Other than this picture of Socks the cat playing the saxophone.
Memphis tomorrow.
-Benetti
Let's explain something here. Only two people are going to each sporting event that's on our schedule. The other will be dispatched to not do anything sports-related while the others are watching whatever it is they're watching.
I now know by experience that Little Rock on Easter is like that La Quinta Inn you always pass on the way to work: vacant. The only open buildings were fast food restaurants and sports bars. Even the River Market (see also Inner Harbor, Riverwalk and Navy Pier) was closed.
Thus, I assume that the people in need of external sustenance on this holiest of days (debatable) are simply the poor and the sports fan. The Venn diagram for these groups (figure not displayed) will show some overlap.
This got me thinking about welfare reform. And there's no better place to learn about such a thing in Little Rock than at the Clinton Presidential Library. Assign the compliment wherever you'd like.
Oddly shaped building, eh? Here's curator Cindy ReyesI swoon at the thought of Commanders in Chief, too.
Mr. Clinton had his boxcar--er, museum--built on a former warehouse district that was rather unsavory, evidently. His library has helped invigorate a small thoroughfare named.....President Clinton Avenue. How selfless.
In trying to avoid sports, I failed almost immediately. I told one of the guides, a kindly gray-haired women named Joy, that I live in North Carolina. Her response: "We're playing you today." She is a point guard for the Razorbacks and I am a small forward for the Tar Heels, clearly.
The library had a small exhibit inside of it detailing each American president until 1965 and how he helped or hindered the African-American cause. It was superb but, sadly, not well-attended.
Items you can impress your friends with:
-Bill met Hillary in the Yale law library. She said to him as she approached, "You've been staring at me for this long. We should at least know each others' names." If that doesn't make you tingly......
-Bill was the youngest ex-governor in the history of the United States.
-The bowling ball was invented in 1862.
-North Little Rock wanted the library, but Little Rock was granted the structure. This is a point of frustration for some North Little Rockers.
That is all. Other than this picture of Socks the cat playing the saxophone.
Memphis tomorrow.
-Benetti
Day 2 Preview
Morning.....
We're going to Little Rock soon from St. Louis. Yes, we were in Indianapolis. But we slept in St. Louis. Is that OK with you? Good.
Loren's got the freecreditreport.com jingle stuck in his head. The one with the guy working at the theme restaurant. This bodes well for none of us.
Thanks to the Weintraub family for housing us. Also, many thanks to their shower with fantastic water pressure strong enough to rip Marv Albert's toupee off of his head.
I don't know if I should have blogged that last line, although the Marv Albert reference should go well, I think. The water pressure in the shower is so strong that it's a crime. No, it's really not a legal shower. The pressure's too high for standard pressure regulations in St. Louis.
For more information, click here
Away we go to the home of Evanescence and Helen Gurley Brown.
F-r-e-e, that spells free,
Benetti
We're going to Little Rock soon from St. Louis. Yes, we were in Indianapolis. But we slept in St. Louis. Is that OK with you? Good.
Loren's got the freecreditreport.com jingle stuck in his head. The one with the guy working at the theme restaurant. This bodes well for none of us.
Thanks to the Weintraub family for housing us. Also, many thanks to their shower with fantastic water pressure strong enough to rip Marv Albert's toupee off of his head.
I don't know if I should have blogged that last line, although the Marv Albert reference should go well, I think. The water pressure in the shower is so strong that it's a crime. No, it's really not a legal shower. The pressure's too high for standard pressure regulations in St. Louis.
For more information, click here
Away we go to the home of Evanescence and Helen Gurley Brown.
F-r-e-e, that spells free,
Benetti
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Day 1: Indianapolis
One thing David learned on this first day is that JetBlue has no concept of time. An hour plus stay on the runway at O'Hare airport kept our trip from getting off on schedule.
An additional time zone SNAFU (Indiana, all of Indiana, is in the eastern time zone, apparently.) meant a very late arrival at our first event - the Indiana High School Basketball Championships at Conseco Fieldhouse.
We rolled up with 3 minutes remaining in the fourth quarter of the Class 2A Final between Fort Wayne Bishop Luers High School and Winchester High School. It was three minutes well worth the trip.
Loren conquered considerable security obstacles to take in the waning moments. In celebration of his victory, Loren's hand began twitching uncontrollably on the top of David's camera. You get to reap the benefits here:
An additional time zone SNAFU (Indiana, all of Indiana, is in the eastern time zone, apparently.) meant a very late arrival at our first event - the Indiana High School Basketball Championships at Conseco Fieldhouse.
We rolled up with 3 minutes remaining in the fourth quarter of the Class 2A Final between Fort Wayne Bishop Luers High School and Winchester High School. It was three minutes well worth the trip.
Loren conquered considerable security obstacles to take in the waning moments. In celebration of his victory, Loren's hand began twitching uncontrollably on the top of David's camera. You get to reap the benefits here:
Here are some of the Winchester faithful:
and the Luers crowd:
In the end, Luers pulled out a stunning 69-67 win for the championship:
Basketball is king in Indiana. As one fan put it, "if you're from Indiana and you don't like basketball, you're crazy." The afternoon session was packed and the crowd was spirited. We met scalpers on the street looking to cash in on the sold-out night session. Scalpers! At a High School Basketball game! But to the people of Indiana, this is one of the hottest tickets of the year.
Here's a couple Loren met who've been coming to the IHSAA Basketball Championships since the 1950s:
Ohio State Men's Basketball coach Thad Matta was there, too. One of Luers' players is a future Buckeye, and Matta was there cheering him on. That is, until Loren sidled up to Matta who then was compelled to feign happiness for three seconds.
We also met IHSAA Commissioner Blake Ress, who in addition to being in charge of Indiana High School athletics, told us his first Championship game was the one that inspired the movie "Hoosiers", which inspired our stop in Indy. Which inspires you, clearly.
We walked and talked with Mr. Ress, and we will have that interview posted here soon. So stay tuned.
In the meantime, enjoy some more images of the road. We caught this perplexing meal deal in Paris, Illinois:
Speaking of Easter, welcome to Effingham, Illinois:
Tomorrow: Little Rock, for second round action from the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. We'll see #1 Memphis take on #8 Mississippi State, and #2 Texas vs #7 Miami.
Basketball is king in Indiana. As one fan put it, "if you're from Indiana and you don't like basketball, you're crazy." The afternoon session was packed and the crowd was spirited. We met scalpers on the street looking to cash in on the sold-out night session. Scalpers! At a High School Basketball game! But to the people of Indiana, this is one of the hottest tickets of the year.
Here's a couple Loren met who've been coming to the IHSAA Basketball Championships since the 1950s:
Ohio State Men's Basketball coach Thad Matta was there, too. One of Luers' players is a future Buckeye, and Matta was there cheering him on. That is, until Loren sidled up to Matta who then was compelled to feign happiness for three seconds.
We also met IHSAA Commissioner Blake Ress, who in addition to being in charge of Indiana High School athletics, told us his first Championship game was the one that inspired the movie "Hoosiers", which inspired our stop in Indy. Which inspires you, clearly.
We walked and talked with Mr. Ress, and we will have that interview posted here soon. So stay tuned.
In the meantime, enjoy some more images of the road. We caught this perplexing meal deal in Paris, Illinois:
Speaking of Easter, welcome to Effingham, Illinois:
Tomorrow: Little Rock, for second round action from the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. We'll see #1 Memphis take on #8 Mississippi State, and #2 Texas vs #7 Miami.Wednesday, March 19, 2008
And We're Off
According to weather.com, it will be 57 degrees with scattered showers in Little Rock, Arkansas on Sunday. We'll let you know if they're right.
Yes, with an open heart and an empty head (or something) we three embark on our journey of Midwest sports miscellany that will eventually become [name our book] by David, Jason and Loren.
The odyssey begins Saturday, March 22, around 8:30am Central Daylight Time in Chicago, IL. And it will end at Wrigley Field in Chicago on Monday, March 31 at 1 pm CDT, as we usher in the 2008 Baseball season.
In between, we'll take copious notes, take endless megabytes worth of digital photographs, record hours of audio, and Benetti no doubt will eat his weight in things smothered with gravy. And we will blog.
Stay tuned to name our book to follow us on our journey. We'll post thoughts, photos, and sound bites from the road. Read, look, listen, enjoy. Then feel free to click on that shiny yellow button on the top right and become a part of our journey.
Our Itinerary:March 22: Indianapolis, IN
Indiana High School Basketball Championships
March 23: Little Rock, AR
NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament Round 2
March 24: Memphis, TN
NBA: Nuggets @ Grizzlies
March 25: Nashville, TN
NHL: Blue Jackets @ Predators
March 26: Columbus, OH
NHL: Blackhawks @ Blue Jackets
March 27: Cleveland, OH
Smuckers Stars on Ice
March 28: Detroit, MI
NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament Sweet 16
March 29: Ann Arbor, MI
NCAA Baseball and Gymnastics
Mt Pleasant, MI
Boxing
March 30: Grand Rapids, MI
AFL: Avengers @ Rampage
March 31: Chicago, IL
MLB: Brewers @ Cubs
Friday, February 1, 2008
Welcome
And now a chance to have YOUR NAME permanently engraved in literary history...or at least that open book up there.
In March, we'll be traveling from Little Rock to Chicago for a week to explore sports and write about what they do for (to?) us. The end result will be the most hilarious book that's ever been written about sports (between March 23rd and 31st of 2008).
-Aaron Boone hits a home run to win game 7 and a Red Sox fan smacks a can of furniture polish so hard against the wall, it explodes.
-Aaron Boone hits a home run to win game 7 and a Red Sox fan smacks a can of furniture polish so hard against the wall, it explodes.
-A Bills fan can't bear the world after the Music City Miracle and spends the next 36 hours sleeping.
-A California surfer has his leg bitten off by a shark yet still has season tickets to his favorite hockey team in San Jose.
-A man can remember each game of the 1954 world series, but can't recall his wife's birthday, which coincidentally took place while the Giants were sweeping the Indians.
-A man can remember each game of the 1954 world series, but can't recall his wife's birthday, which coincidentally took place while the Giants were sweeping the Indians.
Why? For What? Our journey is to find the answer to these questions. Whether we fail or succeed, we'll have a heck of a story to tell and many nachos to digest.
But, we have moderate to extreme difficulty naming chapters. So, we're going to call them by your names. As long as you're willing to fund our project. The 15 largest donors will be given chapter titles. Everyone else will be mentioned later.*
Also, the first donor over 300 dollars will have his/her name included in the book's title. How often do you have the chance to be the eponym for a section of a book? If your answer is more than twice per year, we are no longer friends.
So, send your donations to:
Nameourbook
2559B Owen Dr.
Winston-Salem, NC 27106
Nameourbook
2559B Owen Dr.
Winston-Salem, NC 27106
Or pay via PayPal by clicking on the shiny yellow button to your right.
Help us fill the space above. It's so empty.
-Jason, Loren, and David
* If interested in donating anonymously, please see "Curb your Enthusiasm," season 6, episode 2. That should kill any inclination to not be recognized
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